Are you capable of being honest with yourself?

So I had this epiphany today - how honest are you with people?  how honest are you with yourself?  come on now...it's me you're talking to.  I realized that while I feel I give full disclosure there are just some things we embellish  - I perpetrate and have been perpetrated upon.  I'll disclose some of the light and airy ones....

1. I'm not as smart as I would like to be or think I am- Sometimes it's about faking it until you make it. I'm logical/practical and can be downright creative.  People tell me I'm nice and I have a great smile - or is this all a lie?  Or am I so smart I am just lying to myself and I believe it.  Who knows.  I'm no Descartes, but there could be some kind of Evil Genius at work here - not implying I am either evil or genius. 
2. People say I write very well or are they just saying that to be nice, or is it some game.  Do they mean my creative writing, or my public school penmanship?   Would someone just tell the truth?!
3.  At one clothing store I wear a size 14 at another a 12.  Why are they messing with me?  Just tell it to me straight so I can consistently purchase the proper attire.  To hell with it...I'll just buy a stretchy velour jump suit.
4. I'm not happy all the time - really I"m not - not every waking moment of the day.  People say  I'm perky (i like to laugh alot even if it is uncalled for and inappropriate at times) and that I am emotionally mature - I say splat to that.  I'm complex in here, but I was raised by one hell of a poker face- my Mom.  She's fabulous, but she will put on a smile as to not rock any boat.  I wanna rock the boat sometimes. 
5. Finally, I don't like Facebook.  There I said it.  I have maintained an account to keep up appearances only.  Honestly, I am just not that interesting and frankly, i don't care that you just took a picture of the hamburger you ordered at Ruby Tuesday's.  Really....read my previous posts and you will see that I am just some random woman who is trying to keep it real until I win the lottery.

There, I've been honest- with you, with myself. I can go on with life.  And here are some more thoughts on reality...

Awakening
By Stephanie
 

A silence that is spoken with gentle eyes 

Cries for days

Then gather animals by two’s to shuffle aboard your personal Ark

Built with toothpicks and stained popsicle sticks

Prepare for the journey, leather bound book and rosary in hand

Refill the pool believing your spiritual life boat offers the strength to glide upon the water

Removing the inflatable rings, you put on your life preserver and dive in full force

Choking on years of forced religion and parental philosophies that weigh you down

The life preserver floats to the top

You stay to  fight for your inner truth

The senses have become one

You stop struggling and realize your mortality and 

Float instantaneously to the surface where you are greeted by the pool guy.